KepadaNya Jua Kita Pulang.....

About 3 pm 31.3.2010....leaving for the final resting place....
Bismillahirahmanirrahim.....how she was called to the Almighty reminded me of how Kauthar went back to her final resting place....both were on ventilators, both were on high capacity ventilators due to the heavy pressures in their lungs, Kauthar due to her hypoplastic lungs and heart lesions, Azura..... bleeding in her right lung (due to plummeting platelet) that ripped two thirds of that part of her lung....that was later contained but both lungs later contracted infection that never responded to medication, infact they worsened and claimed her life....

I visited her the night before she passed on, I didn't utter any words when I saw her, only quietly whispered to her to redha....and tears rolled down her cheeks......that was all that she could respond to me...unlike the few days before when she was about 80% sedated, when I reminded her to taubat and seek forgiveness from Him and redha...and I asked forgiveness from her, she tried to open her heavy eyes and grabbed my hands.....I soothed her and asked her to sleep....that night she looked just like Kauthar...her eyes were swollen, cheeks puffed up, all due to pressure and I can see pain in her......azabnya.....

When I went out of her room, I told Yeop, her husband to redha and doa for what is best for her....I have the same feeling like I had for Kauthar...I am so weak, I can't bear the sight of her pain.......that night I fell to sleep while saying istighfar for me and Azura....

And, the wee morning after, my husband quietly woke me up saying that Azura is in critical condition and he was going to the hospital.....and not even 15 minutes later, as he about to step out of the main door....Mak told us that Azura dah tak ada......innalillah....

I cried while taking my shower, but felt my heavy chest lifted....the battle is over and Azura dah cukup hukum....Allah loves her by taking her at such young age!

I got my kids ready and left for the Rumah Mayat UMMC.....eleven years ago I bathed Kauthar for the first and last time, yesterday, I bathed Azura for the first and last time....she had bruises all over her body, all this caused by the negative platelet....and she was slightly yellow due to the high reading in her liver enzyme...but she was still warm and tender when I kissed her last after she was cleansed and kapan.......

I still can't help thinking about her when she kept insisting that she didn't want to go through the fourth chemo, when she did....she knew ajal was waiting for her....

Goodbye Azura, Kak Yani doa you will be placed amongst the righteous, we will look after Nabil and Yeop...alfatihah......